Recently, I was accepted into two companies with "dues paying membership." Dues paying membership? I'm an ACTOR, people. To boot, I'm just beginning my career in Los Angeles. How can I possibly afford dues? I recall my short life in New York. I got everything I went out for which was friggin' awesome. Well, everything but the half-dozen submissions I sent in to be on TV as a non-union actor with a lousy headshot. I told two of the actor/producers of The Donkey Show, for which I stepped into lead roles while they were taking it to Ireland, that "acting is for the wealthy. It's a privilege, and I'm barely surviving among them." They totally agreed. Apparently, those two came from varying levels of money. I was told this later and never divulged to them that they and their trust funds had been outed. I've continued my struggle amongst the elite and still struggle to calm my envy when I see Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicholas Cage, or the sweet Drew Berrymore achieve one more thing afforded them via the successes of their predecessors. Sure, they may deserve their wins, but I know how they got in the door.
Dues paying membership. Pshaw. As a singer who spent her high school years within circles of bands who had to "pay to play" in Hollywood, I loathe the access money brings. And covet it. What am I to do? Gripe and complain and keep on keepin' on, I suppose. I've sold out to far too many pompous pigs with dough in hand wanting to make their mark in "art" and tying me into indentured servitude while providing me no freedom at all. Really, now. When's the last time you saw an album come out of me? Oh, right, years ago. The last one was tied up in "legalities" until recently. Notice my excessive use of quotation marks. That's Hollywood. An enormous, arrogant pair of quotation marks.
I, however, am going to keep on keeping on and eventually hope to hit. With the help of my inspiring friend and director, Joe Lam, I will have a video done in conjunction with my reclaimed album by June 1st. Meanwhile, I've been making myself useful on behind-the-scenes hoopla. I assisted Joe in a video shoot featuring the blues singer/songwriter, Big Joe Hirt, and a charity organization primarily targeted to assist children who are grieving loved ones. The intent is to raise awareness and money for the charity so that they can contribute on the ground in Haiti. Joe had a little, featured role for me in the video, too, but after a second go in hair and makeup, my part got cut due to timing issues. I blame the caterers who were two hours late. Apparently, a good caterer is hard to find on set. That didn't concern me so much since I went there to learn production stuff, but since the caterer forgot to consider vegetarians, my blood sugar dropped at the end so I left at the drop of my scene cut for a 99 cent bean burrito.
The next weekend I worked with a group of actors who pulled together webisodes soon to be known as "Assistant Living." I may have mentioned in previous rantings that I auditioned for a very funny, small role and then put my foot in my mouth at the callbacks. Yeah, me. Foot-in-mouth. Yes, me. My words were, "I don't know who you're going to choose, but the writing is very funny and you guys are all so cool. I'd love to help out however I can even if you don't pick me. In fact, if I were you, I'd pick the crazy-eyed girl." They guffawed at me because the crazy-eyed girl was waiting outside for her second chance. I don't think she heard me. Either way, they did and they did. So a couple of weeks ago I made myself available to the A.D. for fourteen hours straight, became the clap board girl for another day-and-a-half, and jumped at the chance to do anything the art department desired over the whole course of three days that I could be involved. In fact, the art department opened themselves to my ideas so I was pleased as pie.
I learned a lot. I could learn a lot more. If my memory serves me, one of the writers sent me their sponsorship request letters, so I expect to learn something quite valuable. The production was truly blessed with so many volunteers and gifts as large as a full studio lot which I suspect were the fruition of the work and desire of the main group, specifically, the light of determined actress, Tricia Gilfone. I may have a bias based upon the words of her parents who, for up to twenty hours a day, ran the Craft services quite remarkably. These guys gave me hope for my own ideas. In fact, I plan on asking ALL OF YOU for money to make my video! You can all be producers in exchange for, er, uh, the title of a producer, a free CD, free video, maybe even a behind-the-scenes video all signed by me. It's high time this little girlie stop being stopped by perverted old men who stop putting out because I don't and draw on the love of her own community. I mean, hell, many of you gave me a couple of bucks to buy a house that I came so close to purchasing until my biggest investor pulled. (That historical home on Commonwealth, by the way, has been bought and refurbished.) If you're interested, I'll be taking increments of 20s up to infinity, so let me know. If you're not, you'll likely get my spam anyway, but I'd still like to know.
Next week, I'll be lawyering it up in a webisode of a lovely gentleman who suddenly lost his wife this week, so when you think of me, think of his dream being realized as another ends. Life lives in its own mysterious cycle.
Be eternal,
Amy
www.amyarena.com
HERO - my grandpa who is taking my grandmother's last weeks with grace and my frugal tip is buy your favorite wines at the grocery store, unless your in the Tri-state area to whom I say, "Ha, ha, ha, ha."