And one, unplanned, yet to go. Yeah. The first two wiped us out and we're trying to figure out if we can afford a third! Actually, the big problem is finding a venue which has been the issue since the proposal. Both weddings were fun, but the second, with my family, was a lot easier for me to remember since I didn't have to do or worry about anything! Thanks, family. The first one was breathtaking even though we never made it to any cove at sunset. I really enjoyed seeing old friends and there were several friends that came through for me in truly amazing ways.

If you want to read about my hilarious audition experience, please, jump to the highlighted part of the page. If you want me to shut up already, don't be shy. Email me to take you off of my list.

Let me say that that Donna and Eliot who I praised in the last email were just okay in the end. In fact, yesterday Jeremy told me that he didn't get champagne when the best man made his toast so he had to grab some from behind the bar. I don't know. The whole thing is a blur to me, but it's definitely clear that the guests didn't get fed and apparently food was being sent back to the kitchen uneaten so something went terribly wrong and if I could get money back, I'd be sending gift certificates for food and apology notes with my thank you cards!

When we got back home I found out my Wednesday nights at the Karaoke bar have been canceled. Oh, boo. Then I ran off that weekend to Santa Maria to portray an excitable, Wiccan teenager caught up in some mysterious killings. I only had one scene that the director was so pleased with as he was with my grunge wardrobe, but I'm still curious how I come off as a teenager. That's one more night I had to take off from Karaoke hosting.

Returning home, I went to work submitting myself on lacasting.com. My Actors Access account had expired and I decided not to renew because I don't want to pursue unpaid theater nor will I ever be a leggy, busty blonde so I don't need to be signed up to all of these services. While in San Francisco for our wedding, I met with an agent there who does a little in Los Angeles. I explained to her that I hadn't sought out an agent because I'm too far removed from Los Angeles to be anywhere in moment's notice. She seemed to understand and I'm happy to say that last week I read for a voiceover spot for Bare Escentuals.

I thought I totally nailed that read, but I haven't heard back. Nor have I heard from a cartoon I submitted to or some company's phone system. I did, however, go on two more auditions this weekend and played the lead in a student's short on Saturday. I played a mother of a ten-year-old girl, which was difficult since I, just last weekend, was a teen myself. The mother of the young actress asked me about getting our copy and I laughed. I said, "I used to only take student jobs that paid me but none of those guys gave me my copy and I din't even get copy of this last feature I did. Now I have to start over so I can get my reel together. My advice is to find out when she needs to turn her film in and then call her the following week before it gets buried in a box at the bottom of her closet like my college papers. That seemed to work for me the last time."

This coming weekend, I'm working on a spec commercial and I'm pretty sure, if I get all of the copy, I'll have a very well-rounded demo. I would, however, like to play a seductress and then I'll have most everything covered. I'm very excited about the hilarity of this commercial. When it's complete, I'll tell you all about it. I really hope it gets picked up! But, the Karaoke bar is none too happy
with me because I'm now playing hooky again this Saturday. Oh, boo hoo.

Now, as I've been promising, here's what happened on the CBS-Radford lot.

Jeremy and I had gone down to Los Angeles together for two gigs he was playing on the weekend. Usually, I go alone and try to pack as many auditions as I'm invited to do into my time. This time, I turned down a few invites so we could share the ride. The sun attacked us through the grapevine and, without air-conditioning, I nearly crawled out the window to escape. It's hurdles like these that keep me from seeking representation. Imagine how quickly I'd be dropped if I kept saying, "Nope. Can't make it." Anyway, we stayed in the gorgeous, Kyoto hotel which the promoters booked at a very reasonable price.

After a fantastic night of music, I dropped Jeremy off at the Do-Over for his afternoon gig and headed off to the CBS-Radford lot for the audition I just could not turn down. Though I was already in LA, I decided to leave my makeup off because in a hundred degree weather without air-conditioning in the car, my makeup would've ended up in my lap. I did, however, insert the fake boobies I'd recently tried for the fist time in an audition. The set up for the scene was an akward blind date so I thought the figure enhancement might make me look more like a "woman."

I only got a bit turned around and managed not to crash myself into a tree to escape the heat and the desparate need to pee. I should know that when my already excitable bladder is unusally active, I'm at the dawn of my cycle and should be a bit more patient with myself, but who's got time to think about such details? After wiping my face down a bit I do a rush job on my makeup in the rear view mirror and run to the gate. The young gatekeeper kindly stopped me. "I've got to hold this gate for Jennifer Lopez." He felt compelled to tell me more as I looked at him clearly dumfounded.

"Jennifer Lopez has us holding this gate until further notice... in case she decides to come in," he tells me. I don't know what in the hell that means. He directs me to the other gate and now I'm thinking I'm really going to be late. He and I still have time to talk about if walking or driving will be the quickest. With my car being a short walk away, I felt panicked in my heels and sweaty, slipping prosthetics. I rushed as best as I could to the car and darted around the block to the other entrance. Another young, handsome gatekeeper greeted me cheerily and sent me off in the direction of my audition.

First thing's first... Gotta pee. Gotta calm down. I ran into the bathroom to relieve myself and then caught a glimpse of my getup in the mirror. Oh, Lord. I'm so friggin' lucky part of this audition is an embarrassing story.

I walked into the room where a few men and a young, female producer sat around a table very casually. I'm guessing, since I'm auditioning for an independent film, that they're probably writers on some CBS show which is why they get to audition on the lot. Who knows? I didn't ask. Instead, I bust out with, "Ok, so I wasn't really sure what I was going to tell you for my embarrassing story without incriminating myself as a stalker or an alcoholic, but look." I point to the patches of boob sweat. " I've never experienced this before. These puppies aren't real and nobody told me that this could happen. What's more embarrassing is that there's a strong possiblity that these will end up on my knees during the audition."

Our banter went on a bit longer than they likely wanted any of their auditions, but we were having such a great time. I told them that I was concerned about sharing my embarrassing stories because I'd come off as a stalker and a drunk. At that point, they insisted I ellaborate so I explained a tale of screaming at my friend in a club to get me out of there just as the music cut off at closing. I wanted to leave because my ex, but not really ex-boyfriend was hitting on another girl and the whole club got to hear my desperation. Also pretty funny. I told a few other quickies that we had a chuckle over and then we set up the scene.

I was still on high gear so I felt my first read with my date didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I asked for another shot. Again, I had already taken up more of their time than they'd allotted, but I had to BREATHE. Most books tell you to never ask to do it again. I've done it a few times and so far, it hasn't hurt me. Though I should say that I didn't get the gig either. What I did get was a very rare phone call to explain that I wasn't getting the part. Actors will understand how flattering this is. The producer called to tell me that they all found me extremely funny and hoped that I'd keep them updated on what projects I'm involved in. Awesome.

I am pretty funny.

be laughing,

me
www.amyarena.com
myspacemusic.com/amyarena

PS My hero is going to be whoever gets me out of this contract and starts pumping out my LONG OVERDUE record. For now Leanne, Kim, Jenna, Nancy, and Alisa are taking the cake for their splendid assistance at my weddings. Cheap Tip - TWITTER. You can sign up for soooooooooooo many deal alerts without collecting junk mail! Whoo hoo!