You probably think I've been sucked into some inexplicable vortex. That's an excellent guess and while I can tell you that vortex is called The Best of Me, I really can't describe it to you. Too many secrets. However, one reviewer nearly summarized the whole disturbing love story this week. Except for a quick stint in Pennsylvania for my cousin Paul's wedding, the play has consumed me. During tech week, the anxiety only allowed me to sleep for three hours each night. Doing all of this for the love of theater and for my friend Lance alone with no promise of profit makes me think my critics are right - I'm nuts. Seeing that the program didn't mention me as the Assistant to the Director made me realize that I don't love theater enough to ever do this again.

In fact, I don't like the theater much at all. I'm usually woefully disappointed. Didn't I quit the theater last year? Ugh. So now I'm onto my album. It will be complete very, very soon. But the play was an interruption. Work is an interruption. Jeremy and the dogs are an interruption. Friends are an interruption. Alcohol is a downright road block. And just as I thought I was going to breathe I found myself doing background extra work for some movie tentatively called The Job here in Detroit. Didn't I quit doing background extra work ten years ago?

Yesterday I went in to finish up scenes they'd started about a week and a half ago. On that first day I luckily escaped the set so I got to hang out with the crew, specifically this really great guy, Brian who should totally be a movie star. Yesterday they actually needed me to join the background in the diner at the Leland hotel. Meh. Ok.

Some of you who aren't actors may be thinking, "How cool!" Yeah. No. Yesterday we had to be there at 6AM so we could lineup outside in the bitter cold of Michigan's May mornings while someone approved our clothes and then we sat around while one really kind makeup girl powdered all eighteen of us up. Then we were dragged down to the set where we were placed strategically at tables that were usually out of frame where we silently played with old food and pantomimed conversations that will be dubbed in by noise experts later. Every now and then, the A.D. lets us pee and whenever it is that their union forces the director to feed them, we get what's left over.

Fortunately, the food yesterday was quite delicious. During the fourteen hours we were there, two square meals were provided and a whole lot of coffee and sweets. Though all of us were sleepy, malnourished, and cranky about the under-appreciation, we had a LOT of fun together. At least, I had a lot of fun. The crew usually consists of some really hot guys who work hard and stay fit because of it. Not much is sexier than a hard working man except one who also laughs at my wit which they were all willing to do. On every set there's always the one comedian who generally breaks all the rules. This time there were two and I happened to sit with one much of the time so I got a little entertainment without getting in trouble.

I probably made a few new friends and I actually saw an old friend on set and it is for her that I write. During lunch break I discovered that my friend Cybelle was in our holding area taking photos for Hour magazine. We were both exhausted and dysfunctional so this morning she wanted to let me know where her head was at yesterday. No worries here since my head's been there for weeks. She also told me that a camera nerd was asking her lots of questions and throwing her game a bit. I found that camera nerd intriguing. There was something in the way he photographed me that made me feel appreciated in a way that most men can't seem to do without being sleezey. I tell this to Cybelle and she charmingly tells me that it's because I looked more like a star than the lead. Then she also expressed how she'd like her own personal paparazzi.

She then asks me to write another blog so she can have some distraction from a stressful life. So this is for Cybelle, who I know runs around hustling at least as much as I do if not more. I'm making her my Hero of the Month. I've always admired her for making a successful career from what seemed to be nothing but determination. I know people's stories are way more complex than we know. I know everyone's drive and measure of success is totally different. I don't know that Cybelle thinks herself to be as successful as I think her to be, but, at least now she knows the impression she's left on me. In fact, every now and then she unwittingly motivates me to keep after my own dreams.

Now don't get me wrong, I've wanted to smack her on the top of her pretty little head now and then, too. Sometimes just because her hair always looks so unrealistically perfect. I'm sure she feels the same. I really, truly appreciate that she thinks enough of me to demand that I write. Thanks. Cuz even though lately, I feel like other people's goals and dreams have gotten the best of me lately, I'm lucky to have someone remind me the best of me is yet to come.

I wanted to write sooner and I want to write more often... as soon as we're out of the studio.

be your best,

amy
www.amyarena.com

You can find me backstage in Lance's play, The Best of Me, for three more weekends at the Zeitgeist in Detroit, www.zeitgeistdetroit.org/