So I finally found a job that doesn't require driving an hour through the forestry's Kern River canyon to get there. Worse yet, I happen to love it. I'm substitute teaching at a lock-down facility for troubled young men. They're extraordinarily polite and, because their length of stay is effected by how cooperative and active they are in class, they're oddly attentive. What more could a girl want than a a captive, responsive audience.

Well, the holiday is no time to sit down to write. Instead I've been working on this Holiday Greeting for you.

Amy's Holiday Video

I can't even figure out who I sent cards to already, so I've opted to not send anymore and aim for Valentine's as a goal. If not Valentine's, Easter. Yeah, waaaah. I got married again right before Thanksgiving and while I kept my Thank You notes very organized, I dropped the ball for the Holiday Cards. You'll get over it. Or cut me off of your own card list. It's incredibly empowering!

And one, unplanned, yet to go. Yeah. The first two wiped us out and we're trying to figure out if we can afford a third! Actually, the big problem is finding a venue which has been the issue since the proposal. Both weddings were fun, but the second, with my family, was a lot easier for me to remember since I didn't have to do or worry about anything! Thanks, family. The first one was breathtaking even though we never made it to any cove at sunset. I really enjoyed seeing old friends and there were several friends that came through for me in truly amazing ways.

I challenged fate so that it serves me no more
scoffing at my promised dreams
for my betrayal at every turn

intuition squashed under my whims
barely smoldering beneath my arrogance
my obedience to experience

so what will I now do
turn and beg for the destiny I am missing
the one whispered into my imagination at a fresh age
now throwing tantrums from deep within for screwing it all up?

will new hopes ferment in the embalmment of my embittered reflections
or will I, confused by my own free spirit, go out and get a job?

Yes, that's exactly what I mean. However, I mean we all have one inside. After losing that fantastic voice over gig, I went sulking down at the local bar. I've never been there, but I do believe if you need something you should always hit the local bar for leads. That was Thursday night. The bartender took my number down to give to the owners. I returned Saturday night for Karaoke and Wednesday I started as the new KJ. For those of you who are inexperienced, KJ is short for Karaoke Jockey which, yes, means I host every Wednesday and every other weekend.

has it really been recorded? Indeed, it has, but apparently no one is going to hear it for a long, long time. I should mention my Freak of the Week here, but I need these people. Ohhh, codepedency.

Regardless of the music business, I wanted to let you all know that my Kismet in Three Parts is up in its entirety at www.amyarena.com/blog and myspacemusic.com/amyarena . I would LOVE to see your comments there as to generate the feeling that I'm POPULAR when new onlookers come by.

Over the weekend I received a call from a casting company. I'd been cast in a trailer for "Hung" in which they'd be filming a close-up on my face while I faked an orgasm and cut to other women doing the same. Funny stuff, but I said, "Well, I have two auditions Monday." "Oh, well..." the guy says, "I don't know the time frame yet but I'm sure they'll want you available all day. I'll call you in a couple of hours and if they do a morning shoot I'll make sure you're first" Crap. I knew exactly what he was saying. Now what?

Down in Hollywood the auditions weren't any less strange. I had more callbacks, more auditions leading to callbacks, and more senseless defeat. One of my LEAST favorite things in auditions is getting into a waiting room and realizing the casting director doesn't know what he wants. In one way, it's great that he or she is open to anything. In another, it's exhausting to know you've killed in an audition but in the end the guy he likes the best may be too old to be your husband or or the woman she just fell in love with for the film is a year younger than you and she wants her for the mom!

Two weeks later and I'm still the big callback queen. Having signed to Octomom - The Musical's email list I've been pining for their publicity, but recently they sent me a fantastic reality check by highlighting that they had a thousand girls submit for the role. That makes me feel very differently about being plan B. I mean, how many times would an alphabet of 26 letters go into a thousand? Right, right?

Since the pig's flew, or rather, flu, I've had two exciting auditions that ended in total defeat like running to Vegas to get married and finding out you're cousins a week later.