Happy Valentine’s Day, Young Lovers!
A great deal of time has passed and I have quite a long story to tell you all, but since I know most of you barely make it past the first paragraph, I’m inviting you to read my blog on myspace or www.amyarena.com/blog where I’ll reveal some unofficial, but weighty news.
I hope everyone found some rest after the holidays. When I returned from California I found myself sleeping ten hours a night in juxtaposition with four I was averaging over the holiday. Finding flights for both Jeremy and I proved to be extremely stressful for me so I gave up and decided I’d wait until after Christmas. Jeremy was to leave a week before me, but Southern California received a record amount of snowfall unseen since the early 80s. The brilliant minds who work for CalTrans couldn’t figure out what to do with the ice and snow that coated the some forty miles of the grapevine. Our other route to the airport taking us down the 14 went untreated, as well, so I spent two days pleading with Southwest to give me a new flight at an even exchange. At first, they’re response was that Los Angeles wasn’t on storm watch so I said, “Well, we could drive to Vegas, but guess what?” Yeah, Vegas was covered in snow.
They finally saw things my way and I got Jeremy on a flight just three days before mine. So much for all the work I was going to get done while alone in the house. As my departure date approached, the news that the weather may be affecting the same routes forced me to leave for Los Angeles two days earlier than I’d planned. I had to cancel my Christmas Eve plans here and create new ones down there. There was no way I was going to find myself stranded up here while officials pondered for two days on whether to salt or snow again. Seems to me they should’ve called Canada or the folks in Tahoe and asked for a little advice and a couple of snow ploughs, but settling on the panic and confusion of hundreds and hundreds of commuters sleeping in their cars overnight in freezing weather is another option.
I surprised a few old friends with a visit on Christmas Eve and then spent the eve of Christmas drinking wine with my friend, Jen, and my kind host, Diana. The night promised to continue me along my sleep deprivation experiment beginning with those three nights of staying up trying to tie up all of the loose ends one would when closing up their house for several weeks. After being up until the wee hours, a mysterious alarm went off in Diana’s house proclaiming it was “Six o’clock, Gay time.” Apparently, the computerized woman is actually saying A.M., but I can’t prove that. The time was actually 4:40 AM. And I woke up to a dead battery. But I still managed to get to the Valley to spend a lovely time with the Engis and then back to Simi where I had Christmas dinner with my old surrogate family, the Coxes. Do you pluralize Cox that way? Hmm.
Then it was “Six o’clock, Gay time” again and I was off to the airport to which I needed to be well before six in real time. Diana gave me half of some mood enhancer for which I have no prescription. Instead of sleeping I did that funny little head bob-and-weave that only babies and people sleeping on planes do for hours, both before and after my layover. My good friend, Melissa, picked me up from the airport and she, her husband, Dave, and I went to the Woodbridge Pub for dinner. This was so exciting for me because I lived in Woodbridge for years and felt it quite pathetic that we had no neighborhood bar. The Pub put their sign out probably a year before they opened so I’d been anticipating this yummy little hang out. Besides, I love all things novel.
Finally, it was off to Jeremy’s gig at Funk Night that relocated to this fantastically underground warehouse in which you had to ride a freight elevator to get to the party. Fun! Though I’d have done anything to sleep, I was thrilled by the massive crowd joined together to dance. Or maybe they were just there to drink. But, Jeremy didn’t play until 2 and we didn’t get to his parents house until some time after six AM. Did I find myself a restful slumber for Christmas?
Now, I can’t be sure because I failed to sleep in the darkness and rise with the sun, but I believe it was the 27th that the Ellis’ held their Christmas celebration. I found myself struggling to sleep in the basement under the footsteps of a five-year-old boy for some hours. I have no idea what time I finally got out of bed. I’m not even sure if that was our Christmas or if it was the following day. One of those days I didn’t do a whole lot. “Christmas” day involved some very hectic, last minute rushing to clean in which Mr. E’s stress was high and I nearly provoked a war by screaming for coffee on more than one occasion, but we all pulled through and managed to have a fairly together affair once the middle son’s family arrived. Jeremy’s folks really spoiled me. In fact they spoiled me more than him and he’s the youngest! We had a really nice time with the children, but something was missing.
Oh, gifts from Jeremy. Right. For months I’d been hearing about how he’d been keeping a list and wanted to assure me that, no, brag about what a great Christmas I was going to have. Phooey. Not ONE single thing. Oh, he tried to make up for it with after Christmas sales, but what’s the point when I just have to find room in my suitcase. I insisted he wait until we get home to CA. He did, however, go and buy me a steamer. It’s something I wanted instead of an iron, which I never use anyway. That actually makes it definitive that it was the 28th I didn’t do a whole lot other than share Jeremy’s favorite crushed lentil at Cedar Gardens. I did try sleeping, but again, the hustle and bustle of a functioning family overhead means those of us burning the wick at both ends need to keep the flame lit.
On the 29th, I packed. I also got a little visit from my friend, Craig, who I’ve decided to make my Hero of the Month because in the last few months he, who gets in his own way, has landed himself a seat on city council and also won a state championship with the high school Debate Team he coaches. Go Craig! After he, indeed, went, Jeremy came home and his father took us to Detroit’s bus station where I expected a long rest on the overnight ride.
WOW! Talk about a rude awakening. Every forty-five minutes we stopped to pick up and let off passengers. Ugh. I slept about as well as I did on the plane with the roofy. We arrived to have lunch with my mom and a friend. We socialized for a while and then when it was time to sleep I slept hard and long until my cousin Teresa called me on New Year’s Eve to let me know she was on her way. Oh NO! I’m not ready! I’m not ready! So I dragged myself out and sleepwalked to Jeremy’s room to let him know it was time. I tried to stay on my best behavior while we wandered around the hospital upon visiting my grandmother. It was snowing and for some thoughtless reason, the hospital doesn’t have an entrance anywhere near the parking lot. After our visit, we dined with my Grandfather. I nitpicked my cousin for wasting food and she nitpicked me about being stagnant in my career. A good time was had by all, but all I wanted to do was SLEEP!
While I was somehow missing from the group, Teresa had talked Jeremy into going into Philly for a New Year celebration. Our options were to go to a small, couples gathering at my cousin Kim’s, (his first choice), a house party where my younger cousin, Mikey, would be playing the drums, or to another small party very close to home with my friend, Jen. They both thought we should just keep going, but I had to get home. I had to get home. I JUST NEED TO RELAX AND HAVE SOME QUIET TIME! Geesh.
At home I prettied myself up and the quest to connect with Teresa began. She’s never been good about answering her phone or making you feel secure about her reliability though, I believe, she somehow always is. Jeremy tried calling her several times before I figured out I had her husband’s cell number. I’d say it must’ve been 10:45 PM when we left for a forty minute drive into the city. Jeremy handed me his iphone to follow the GPS system that always stresses me a little. After we’d crossed the bridge I saw a street go by that I thought Roie had mentioned to Jeremy. “Hey, didn’t Roie say something about that street?” Jeremy answers, “Well, what does the GPS say?” We keep driving and it happens again. “Hey, didn’t Roie also mention that street?” “Yeah, I think so” he says. Well, what the hell?
Then Teresa starts calling. Teresa majored in theater. Everything about her has a tinge of drama to it, which leads for a very exciting life. However, I’m sure my adrenal glands have been completely charred, but I try to ignore the desperation in her voice. “Where are you?” I’m irked by the buzzers and multitudinous noisemakers going off in the background. “We’re headed toward Ben Franklin.” She has no idea what I’m talking about so after some moments of talking over each other we figure out we’ve gone too far and need to head back to those streets we’d passed. It’s now 11:40 PM. Couldn’t we have just stayed home?
Then the phone rings again. “Where are you?” Then we get into it again about parking. I’m sure she can’t here me beyond the volume of the party, but we get into a major confusion about where she wanted me to park. She wanted me to park on a triangle. We turned off the car on top of a white diamond or triangle symbolizing a bus stop. I did not feel good about it, but then Roie called and set us straight. Meanwhile, Teresa was calling again. He was standing out in the freezing cold trying to ensure everything went smoothly. We followed him to safety and parked the car on a triangular shaped road divide. Then the phone rang again. I ignored it and put it in the glove box. It’s almost midnight.
When we walked in I let out a boisterous, “Hi Everybody!” The entire living room of partygoers looked at me with a blank stare. Awkward! Well, this is going to be fun. Finally, I was introduced to some people and Teresa complimented me and I’m sure was somehow proud of me. That wouldn’t last long. Within moments, the host of the party walks up to me and shoves a noise blower into my hand and disappears. Then she arrives again with a clacker and again, vanishes. One more time she arrives with a glass of champagne. And one more time with a noise popper. I looked at Jeremy with fear and confusion. “How am I supposed to suck, blow, pop and kiss you all at the same time?” My hands were full and they were counting off. I was standing nowhere near a table and I felt stuck and pressured to celebrate. At midnight I pull the string and the popper sets off in my hand leaving it sore with a slight burn.
Jeremy has this look in his eye. I know exactly what’s up, but I try to tell him I set my hand on fire. He kept repeating, “It’s ok.” I don’t know if he couldn’t here me or if he was simply fixated on what he was about to do. I assume he was fixated because had he been in his right mind he would’ve seen how off his timing was. I kept repeating myself and showing him my left hand, but he bent down on one knee. Teresa started to freak out. She must’ve taken the crap out of my hands at that point. I stood there stupefied, but contemplating running for the door. Jeremy opened the little white ring box with the ring side down so I yelled, “It’s upside down.” Now, maybe Jeremy thought I was yelling at him, but know that I was in fact shouting because it was bloody loud in that row home. Teresa also started shouting it, so his shit-eating grin disappeared for a millisecond while he corrected his faux pas.
But then, I looked at what he was offering and I was thoroughly confused about what was going down. Now, I believe Jeremy was asking, “Amy Arena, will you marry me?” I can’t be sure on that because who could hear anything at that moment other than Teresa who was totally thrilled. I know that I asked, “What is that?” I thought he was proposing to me, but maybe what he was giving me was a promise ring. Or a wedding ring. It looks like a wedding band. Silver. It’s really white gold, but I was quite confused. So I asked a few times. But then, I heard his question loudly and clearly. So my next question was, “Did you know it was supposed to have a diamond on it?” That’s when Teresa pushed me and said, “Say Yes.” “Oh, Ok. Yes.”
But still, I had to know why he hadn’t gone to his uncle, the jeweler, to get me a ring. I wanted to know why he hadn’t planned this better. The man I’m going to marry can’t plan what he’s calling the most important question he’s ever asked. Hmmph. Then my cousin starts in with the wedding planning and I break down in tears. Well, I can’t do it at my grandparents’ house because they’re gone. And although I REALLY wanted to wed before they passed away, they aren’t going to see this. I can’t afford a wedding. And, oh, the love my cousin was feeling for me earlier has gone down faster than the ball dropping. She’s infuriated that I’ve ruined Jeremy’s moment and I’m upset that no one had the foresight to make this my moment. Ahhh. Happy New Year.
So I end up talking to a few ladies and giving them the whole comedy routine about the evening. About how I hadn’t slept. About how his uncle’s a jeweler. About how he must’ve gone out the day after Christmas to buy the ring for this big moment. About how it’s been nine years and I’m not nineteen so the bouncy thrill is just not in me. I mean… we’ve been living together for a long time. What do married people say when you ask them if they want to get married. I’m cracking myself up. This is the life I’ve chosen. Comedy abounds. But then I get to talk to Teresa’s husband about how I’m really a little scared. My career IS stagnant. We’re broke. I was ready years ago, but now? I can’t afford a wedding and I don’t have the time to plan one. I felt a bit alone.
Then, oh Lord, then I night completely wired wide-awake in anxiety about how I made Jeremy and Teresa feel. About how I’m going to come up with money. About how I’m going to do this with my friends in California, his friends and family in Michigan, and mine on the east coast. Ugh. I need some sleeping pills. Like a bottle of them. That will solve this. What should’ve been a lovely ceremony that my parents help me plan and pay for in celebration of a new love has become a burden interrupting all of my life’s plans. What’s happened to me? With Jeremy going home the next day, I go to wake him so we can tell my mom. It’s also the only day we can open Christmas presents.
I’m not sure how she’s going to deal with this. She doesn’t get excited about these things. So we go down to the kitchen and listen to her tell us about her day and her troubles until there’s a momentary break where we can bust out with the news. She cried. My mom cried! Huh. I wasn’t expecting that.
Jeremy’s still sore at me about the whole night and I try to explain myself which had only been getting me into trouble during these last 24 hours. I mean, c’mon, what about my hectic, horrendous week made him think I was in the mood for romance or a life-changing moment? Waaaahhh. The next night is another anxious, sleepless night with me looking up vacation rentals in the Poconos, Morro Bay, NJ and trying to sort out how I’m going to pull this off.
At some point, we came to some forgiveness and understanding before, or maybe as we arrived to, the airport for his return flight. I asked him for a new ring and suggested he try to create a new memory with another proposal and then we’ll make it official 
The sleep depravation doesn’t end there. Come back in a couple of days to find out what’s more.
As I promised, here’s a Recession Buster – most libraries offer current and classic movies on dvd for free, just like books. I love the library so I talk about it a lot. Unfortunately, our library in the mountains sucks it on many levels. I also happen to know the Detroit Public library is so needy that they must charge. However, my aunt makes use of this all of the time and her community’s just a sleepy, tucked away suburb.
